I’m learning, being unemployed, that I’m not missing much of my kid’s lives while I’m working. They’re school age now. They’re also distancing themselves from me in the evenings. They’re growing up.
I’m learning I’ve been seeking support and acceptance from someone and not getting it. I found it somewhere else.
I’ve appeared very weak lately. I’m embarrassed to admit. I’ve scared people off and pushed others away. I’d ask them to return but I don’t think I need them anyway. If it’s not a two-way street, it’s a dead end.
People want me to go to AA and quit drinking. I know that alcoholics have to want to quit and will do it on their own terms when they do.
I’m learning I don’t want to quit. I want to prove myself strong enough to manage it and control myself and my feelings.
I’m learning I’m good enough for the boys. They’re fed, housed, healthy and happy. I’m doing something right.
I’m learning I want to get better, be happier and pay it forward. I’d like to think I’m doing a small part by writing about my experience. Maybe I can help others.
I’m learning things will be ok and life is good.