Off My Chest

My anxiety is a little bad this morning. I have a job interview later and I’m nervous about that. I realize I have been unemployed for a week now and I had an interview yesterday and I’m just beginning to panic a little. I’m fearful of not finding a job soon and having to settle. I’m afraid of returning to work and my anxiety being overwhelming again.

I watched Good Morning America and saw that Dick’s Sporting Goods is banning the sell of assault-style rifles, not selling guns to people under 21 and no longer selling high capacity magazines. I’m pleased to hear this as I am worried about the state of this country and the safety of my own children at school.

We’ve always thought of schools and buses as a safe place for our children. They were for me when I was a kid. I never worried about dying at school or someone bringing a gun. I watch these kids from the Florida high school being interviewed and I see their pimpled foreheads. That’s all a kid that age should be worrying about. Tests, reports, acne, dating, not dying. Not looking for signs of a potential shooter in their friends and acquaintances. Should they assume the shy, quiet, loner is a future criminal and upset them by labeling them?

I’m also fed up of my Facebook’s news feed being bombarded with “Put God back in schools”. “The reason why children are dying in schools is because God is no longer allowed in schools”. Yeah, because there has never been a church shooting… So many excuses, so little actions. I’m pleased with Dick’s news this morning. I’m glad someone is taking an initiative. I’m upset that President Trump proposes arming teachers. What? That’s ludicrous. I can just see my first grade teacher packing a gun. Okay. Teachers already claim to be overworked and underpaid. You’re going to now make them carry guns like a law enforcement officer? Isn’t that someone else’s job? The fact that this is being discussed disgusts me. It’s saddens and sickens me that I’m dropping my kids off at school in the morning and wondering if I’ll ever see them again because someone could come in and harm my children.

I’m angry. I’m hurt. More to worry about. More to prepare for. What have we become?

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