An Exhausted Update

So I went to AA. Eh. I’m not convinced that alcoholism is a disease. I’m using alcohol to help me with my depression and anxiety. However, I am intelligent enough to know downers aren’t going to help me. I also know drinking on meds isn’t a great idea.

I went to a counselor. She says I’m still grieving Jeff. Oddly enough. I didn’t even love him anymore.

I’m a pretty smart person, I know what I’m doing. I also know I’m avoiding things, lying to myself and potentially hurting others.

I’m jobless. I quit my job last week. I wasn’t happy. There’s more to that but I won’t go into it. I have money saved, I want to be happy. I’ve never done anything like this before. I’m just really realizing how miserable I have been and making others. I’m wanting to learn to love myself, make myself and others happy. I’m also wanting to go to sleep. I’ll write later.

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