The following, and frankly all my posts, is/are of my own opinion and not intended to accuse, anger or insult anyone. It’s just my thoughts and my attempt at humor on something I’m guilty of doing myself.
As part of my New Year’s resolutions this year I was to quit drinking for a month and not look at Facebook. The drinking didn’t last, obviously. I lasted two weeks before getting snowed in with the boys for three days and convinced myself I desperately needed a drink on a date night away from the boys. But I successfully quit Facebook. I took the app and its Messenger app off of my phone. I’m being reminded as I scroll through my news feed how much more at peace I was in January because of the break. I’m considering doing it again.
I do have some issues with Facebook that are due to my own insecurities. Facebook jealousy for one. I find myself sometimes wincing at the happy photos of families. You know the ones, the happy ones that indicate a couple still married, a father still alive, a mother thin and not looking like she’s ever carried a child let alone a bag of groceries she’s so thin. Then there are pics of the kids. Jackson’s disabled. I find myself jealous of your child in their school pics and games. I see your kid reciting presidents or holding up a drawing with pretty incredible sketching skills, and while I’m truly impressed, I kind of find myself hating the kid, the parents, and myself.
Then there are the political posts. Holy crap! I wouldn’t know if you were needing a kidney transplant because all of your posts are political or you’re “sharing and liking” every damn thing that crosses your news feed. I find myself getting angry that I scroll through forty pics depicting your opinion on gun control before seeing my friend’s video of her child taking his first steps.
You’re tagging your spouse in posts. I find this just annoying, honestly. I’m glad you’re so loved that your wife tags you in every love post found on the internet. I’m happy you’re dining at the Olive Garden together on a Tuesday night and, look at that, you’re attending a concert together on Friday! I’m glad you surprised her with a Coke when you got home from work. I’m especially glad to see the pics of the deck she’s wanting you to build in the summer. She must really, really love you and you all must be really, really committed to each other. We know this. We know you took vows to love and commit to each other. At least I hope so. If you have to keep posting these things to show the other person you love them or you need to convince us you’re loved, you might want to look at yourself or your relationship. I’m just thinking all the while could your wife just send the messages to you through a text or show you when you get home from work, because you do live together and see each every day?
Then there are motivational quotes, some of these I like. They’re a welcomed sight from the presidential posts. I sometimes need to be reminded that I’m here to be helpful and to love myself. I don’t need to be reminded of who you voted for. FYI: the election’s been over for a while now. And most of us support our country and its veterans. I don’t have to like and share every pic of a wounded veteran to prove this.
In fact, I’m not doing much of anything to support some of my beliefs and other people. I can “like and share” all day but I’m not really doing anything to prove that I’m happy that woman I don’t even know is 100 years old. I’m not proving myself a great friend for “liking” every one of your posts and photos. If I were a good friend I’d call you or meet you for dinner. I’d ask about you in person and visit you after a few days down with the flu instead of just writing about my hopes for a speedy recovery on your timeline. We should be telling our significant other to their face we love them. Maybe even surprise text them. If you’re one of those shout-it-from-the-rooftops kind of lovers, congrats, but we don’t need to be reminded daily that your boyfriend is the greatest man that ever lived, especially when we know he’s sitting right next to you because you’re posting about how awesome he is to be watching The Princess Bride with you, again. Put your phone down, turn and to him and thank him. We get it, your proud and happy. But you share a bed. Tell him there you love him and are thankful for him. Tell him there he’s the greatest because of his desire to make you happy and for all the things he does for you, big and small. In fact show him by doing things for him yourself. (We just don’t need to see every pic of every nice thing you do for him either.) We’re human. We’re supposed to be nice to each other. We shouldn’t have to gloat about our actions or post a pic of us doing something for proof we are in fact, being nice human beings.
And I’ve been guilty of all of this myself. I’ve been known to share songs, memories, bad jokes, an opinion. I’ve been known to brag, rant, vent, and ask for help. I’m starting to realize a friend of mine could have it worse off and doesn’t want to hear about my shit. I understand.
I understand that Facebook isn’t making me a better friend. It’s not making me a better citizen. It’s not making me feel better about a lot of things actually. I get on Facebook to check up on friends and end up feeling worse about myself. That’s not why Facebook was created. That’s not how humans were meant to show support and compassion. We’re doing it all behind a screen and not doing it in person. No wonder people are jealous and depressed. No wonder Facebook conduces hostility and jealousy. We’ve become a sad generation.
Therefore, I’m vowing to give up Facebook, again. I’m vowing to call my friends like the olden days. I learned a friend was having surgery in February from a post I missed in January. What kind of friend am I that I don’t even keep in contact with that person to have known the surgery was going to occur? I shouldn’t have learned about that on Facebook. If I called the person I would have known sooner. Because I don’t post about my love for others and the human race itself doesn’t mean I’m not compassionate or thankful. I’m going to start proving myself in other, old-fashioned ways. Donating, volunteering, visiting, calling. If at least one person reads this and questions there own reasons for following and posting on Facebook and wants to make a difference I’ll be the happiest person! I know I’m not the only person to feel this way.
* I realize this all comes across slightly bias as I may not post everything on Facebook I’m just smart enough to have a blog where I have more space to post all of my opinions:)