Anxiety Amass

My anxiety is bad but better because of my meds. However, as I search for a job I’m becoming more anxious over how I’ll perform in a new role. I reminded myself today that I’ve called Senator’s offices. I’ve spoken before a hundred people. I’m trying to figure out why I’m “borrowing trouble” and panicking.

I think I’ve been over-qualified in some of my positions in the past, why fret now?

The problem I’m having is salary expectations. I need x amount to pay my bills. I moved here and budgeted for x amount. The jobs paying that amount are few and far between. I anticipated at most a two month sabbatical, if you will. Time’s closing in and my savings are dwindling. I should be more panicked but I’m not thanks to aforementioned expensive meds. That will get better once I’m insured again.

I’ve gotten the boys covered. Which means I now have the time and insurance to take Jackson to the dentist and get him fitted for hearing aids, his bone scan done and visit with an ENT. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to take him to all these places once I’m employed and I’m really hoping to be employed soon.

I owe a thanks to every one who has been supporting me and not judging me. I’m thankful for the calls, texts, visits and hugs. I’m thankful my mother has watched my boys and for my sitter. I’m thankful people are accommodating and helpful. I’ve been inclined to forward the generosity. I’m hoping this all pays off in the end. Pun, may have been intended;)

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