Again in reading Living Sober I read about something all too familiar. Drinking to express anger. I didn’t know how to communicate my unhappiness with Adam. I also had self esteem issues. I wanted approval and his acceptance in ways he wasn’t capable of showing. I should have seen myself as enough but I didn’t. I fought with him on two occasions. Each time getting drunk and spewing all my insecurities and anger at him. I thought I’d be honest and that he’d have to hear me.
I was wrong. I went about that the wrong way.
I need to gain self confidence. I need to communicate rationally and sanely. I need to do this without letting things fester as I had. I’m capable of being vulnerable and open. It might sting or be uncomfortable but it beats what I’ve been doing and treating deserving people the way I have been.