I’m resorting back to my earlier ways. Chasing men.
I loved “Gas Food Lodging” for a few different reasons. One girl dated outside her race. And I remember them laying in a field and their differences in skin tones looked beautiful. At the time I was nearly the age of the youngest daughter and had crushes.
Another part of the movie I relate more to now. The oldest daughter. Looking to feel loved. Looking anywhere.
I’m closer to the mother’s age now but I’m behaving like the oldest. Looking for temporary men to forever satisfy me.
I brought another one home Saturday night. I also drank. I also woke up feeling immense guilt and shame. I don’t know why I do it.
No wonder he didn’t love me. I don’t even love myself.