Hung out with nice guy last night. Not smart. Gonna have to pass on this one.

With me starting a second job soon and with the kids, I’m sitting out of dating for a while. I don’t have to replace their father, I’m doing fine on my own.

Saw my psychiatrist two days ago. I’ve gained 10 lbs since May. I asked if any of the meds I’m on could cause weight gain. I know damn well it’s not my meds. But she lowered a med and raised my Wellbutrin. Here’s hoping my appetite decreases! Of course, you should have seen my breakfast.

I took Jackson for his human growth hormone test Tuesday. They needed blood from him every 30 minutes. He wouldn’t let them put the IV in. It took 3 of to hold him down while one nurse attempted to find a vein. She didn’t. Another nurse had to insert it in his arm. It was an ordeal. It was stressful and heartbreaking. He hates the sight of blood. He’s one to run get a Band Aid for a scratch. After having to be put under two weeks ago for a tooth extraction and to have cavities filled he wasn’t having the hospital thing. They said hopefully insurance won’t make it a two part test. I honestly don’t think I’d put him through that again. I think he may just have to be 5’0. He has a big personality:)

For some reason he was walking funny after getting the IV. He kept his arm straight and wouldn’t use it but I can’t explain the walk. We went to Cracker Barrel after the procedure, we were both hungry and we needed to kill some time. He was walking funny in Cracker Barrel. A woman was leaving but came up to me and said, “God bless your son. I pray for him every day of my life.” It made me wonder how other people perceive him.

The boy’s school is having their annual book fair. My mom bought Jackson a couple books, one on rocks. I found him showing a neighbor his now books yesterday outside before dinner. The thing is he was sitting on our drive way by himself originally. That breaks my heart. But then moved to our neighbor’s drive way. Can’t explain that one. Once again, I wondered how people see him.

I lose my patience with him a lot. I shouldn’t. I forget about him having a lower IQ. I forget he doesn’t understand a lot of things. I can’t think too much about it or I’ll pity him and I don’t want to do that. I want to enjoy him. I want to try to understand the world as he sees it and it’s a happy, good place to him. He doesn’t worry. He doesn’t have bad days. He’s genuinely happy and every day at that. A lot of us could use to be more like him.

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