Day 3, Again

I’m assuming I’m still 160 lbs. I’m not weighing myself every day. Too depressing.

No alcohol today.

Woke up before 7. Started cleaning the downstairs. The boys rode their bikes as I attempted to run again. I’ve been taking my two geriatric dogs for a walk around the block before I “run” but I don’t think Molly, 16, is able to keep up any longer. I carry her the last leg of the trip.

I cleaned. Picked up mums from the boy’s school. It was a fundraiser. Ran to Dollar General and bought $50 worth of fall decorations. My house looks cozy and clean. Well, downstairs does.

I wanted to lift my mood. I’m feeling a little down. I’ve snapped at the boys one hundred times today. All I can think about it going back to work Monday and meeting miserable again. The idea of getting in shape and being thin is the only thing I look forward to. That and the boys. But I think I’m overdue for a break. I just have immense guilt when away from them even for a few hours.

Hopefully, I’ll start my second job soon. I’ll miss them more I’m sure.

After a wonderful nap I woke up to do laundry. We ate dinner then we went around the block again.

We came home showered and bathed and now I sit here watching Book Club.

Oh, I also smudged the house today.

Nice guy is still texting me. I don’t know how to tell him I don’t want to date. Because I think I just don’t want to date him. Although, I said I’m taking a break, this is lonely. I’m lonely. I’m texting friends but it’s not the same.

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