Day 9, Again

So I started my second job yesterday. It’s retail. I woke up at 5 with the intentions of working out but didn’t. I went to my regular job 8-4:15, I got to leave 15 minutes early. I ran home, let the dogs out, then drove to McDonald’s for a salad. Well, I did what I was afraid of doing. I looked at the clock and realized driving with a burger would be easier than sitting in the parking lot and eating a salad with only a few minutes until I had to be at my job. (It’s a retail job btw. We have an outlet mall not too far from here.)

It was nice learning some new things and chatting with people. I don’t talk to many people at my first job. However, the worst part of the day was when my manager asked me to try on clothes so I would be able to tell customers how they fit. Um, I only fit in their largest sizes. It was discouraging. The absolute worse part was the full length mirror in the dressing room. Oh. My. God. I think of poor Adam telling me how he thought I looked good naked and wanting to cry. Not a pretty sight. My stomach is disgusting. I want so bad to be thinner but I went and ruined it today with fast food and not exercising. And I’m wanting to see results now so it’s a little frustrating.

Ugh. I’ve got to keep going. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I also just felt a little sad knowing that I’ve missed out on a man that liked my body the way it was.

Oh, well. I’ll get where  I want to be. At least I hope I will. I don’t want to be doing this for nothing.

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