Dad’s 60th

My dad died of a heart attack 13 years ago. He would have been 60 today. I can’t explain the way I’m feeling.

I’m sad because of him. I’m sad for the boys. I can’t figure out why I’m still so hurt after being dumped back in May. I’m stressed and worried because of money and Jackson’s recent diagnosis. I was home yesterday with him because he threw up and was running a fever. We slept most of the day.

I feel alone. I feel mad. I feel betrayed and hurt. I feel used. I feel sick.

I’m still pissed. Because Dad died too young. Because I feel I was being used in my last relationship and he hurt me and I’ve not had closure. I feel ashamed. I feel regretful. I feel I’ve hurt someone’s feelings recently.

I’m just feeling a lot of things today. Too many things.

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