It’s 12 am. I wake up. Suddenly I can’t sleep. For some reason the thought of telling Jake is brother is different than most kids and I need hon to take up for him enters my mind. At what age do I tell him? How do I tell him. He doesn’t know. The thought of…Read more »
Hung out with nice guy last night. Not smart. Gonna have to pass on this one. With me starting a second job soon and with the kids, I’m sitting out of dating for a while. I don’t have to replace their father, I’m doing fine on my own. Saw my psychiatrist two days ago. I’ve…Read more »
After royally fucking up this weekend I stewed over my past and forgot about all of it come Saturday night. I’m still paying the price and may me be for sometime to come. (Drinking was only a small factor this weekend.) And I didn’t have the kids, mind you. I laid low yesterday, avoiding people.…Read more »
I’m easier on Jackson. I realize that. He struggles more. I may not snap at him as quickly as I do Jake for annoying me. By annoying I mean hear “come here” a million times or “watch me” a hundred more. I’m annoyed, frankly mad, when Jake does something I’ve told him not to do.…Read more »
I’m sitting here thinking about all the snide comments about my texting Adam he made. How frustrated he appeared with me at times. I was nothing but nice to him, always. I’m not going to let anyone treat me like that again. Maybe I shouldn’t be that nice to people either. It reminds me of…Read more »
This morning I was blindsided by the boys asking questions about their half-sister and dad. They want to see their half-sister again. My youngest, again, wanted to know why there aren’t many photos of him with his father. I tried to explain that we weren’t together long after he was born. I didn’t want to…Read more »
Just know I feel a strong obligation to replace the boy’s father since he’s dead and the statistics of boys growing up in a fatherless household aren’t in their favor. It’s also why I’m so picky and hellbent.